I've read a number of blog posts recently about how you know you're actually in your 20s and for the love of God, don't get married before you're 23 and everything you must do before you turn 30 and hate your life. I have to admit, I've enjoyed reading these blogs, however, if you meet none of the guidelines listed don't think that you've failed as a 20 something year old. If you want to get married before 23 don't let a blog tell you otherwise. Also, I think 30 might be a great fucking year, so everyone lay off the post 20 something year-olds.
I've decided to jump on the old band wagon with what I think anyone should/can do in order to be happy with where they are in life at this exact moment. No need to pack up your shit, divorce your wife and join a Scientology cult. Just some ideas on how to be happy … right now, without changing a thing.
1. It's okay to have no idea what you want to do with your life
At five, I thought I could talk to animals (this has yet to be disproved). At seven until 19 I wanted to be a dolphin trainer (until I realized that believing I could talk to animals did not, in fact, outweigh the importance of math and science in this field), at 20 I wanted to become a kick ass spy and at 22 I wanted to live in Spain and marry Cristiano Ronaldo. (I don't want to seem like a hero but I'm a continent closer to the big CR. So dream big, guys, dream big).
At 22, I have moved to Spain and I'm pretty freaking excited about it. BUT I know that until I get that permanent Spanish residency card (ahem, boys of Spain, ahem) this is only a temporary move. And as much as I love teaching these little nuggets, I don't know if this is really what I want to do for the rest of my life. And that's okay.
2. Do what makes you happy
If the first thing you think when you read this is "wow, she really isn't beating around the bush in this blog. I'm out," you are correct. Thank you for reading this far, I'm sorry if it impeded on your current state of happiness.
If you're on the other spectrum and think to yourself, "well, that's bs because I may not be happy right now but I'm working hard to be happy later," then you're doing it wrong. I'm not saying you don't have to work hard and struggle at times to become a happier person but if you don't smile at least once a day when you're "working" or even just living your life then my guess is that what you're working towards will not bring ultimate happiness.
3. Travel as often as you can and don't be intimidated by the journey.
This doesn't mean you need to blow all your savings and book a flight to Libya so you can take some Instashits of the crazy adventure. Traveling could be as simple as discovering a new street in your neighborhood or as daring as moving to the jungle. If you have a family that "keeps you from traveling," don't be deterred. Pick up that old metal detector and trespass travel into someone's backyard and find a whole new world under the ground. Find a new coffee shop that also has a liquor license down the street and befriend the manager. Play the left-right game until you get lost in your city to find that you're only a couple miles from home. Don't stop discovering new things.
4. Trust your gut.
"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt
I love this idea. BUT I think that my generation might be taking it a tad too literally. I don't think ol' Elly meant play frogger in a highway or Russian roulette with your downstairs neighbors. There is a difference between doing what makes you uncomfortable in order to grow and doing what your subconscious knows isn't right for you. When you're walking down a dark alleyway and something tells you to turn around, trust that instinct before the crack head holding the knife tells you to turn around. Trust your subconscious enough to be comfortable making uncomfortable decisions. Yes, take risks, but risks that will ultimately help you grow as a person, not help your insurance premium sky rocket through the roof. This may be your key to longevity.
5. Eat what you want and enjoy it.
Eating is about the most pleasurable bodily function you can engage in while in public (that doesn’t come with the risk of getting arrested). Don't take that for granted and savor every second of that greasy, blue-cheese covered, medium-rare steak and the never ending chocolate milkshake (never ending because you can't stop buying more). This isn’t a license to overdo it. (You don’t want your friends calling you Sloth-face or Glutton-Button.) It just means don't be hard on yourself for enjoying the good things Mother Earth gave us like a Five Guys double cheeseburger or a juicy kabob from down the street.
6. Learn a new language
Here comes the inevitable "Really? This again? I tried that in middle school, no luck-o, Bucko." But language doesn't necessarily have to be Spanish or Chinese. There is a language in dance, in people's facial features, in watching movies and just plain people watching. Take in what is around you and learn how to respond in a similar fashion. One of the most beautiful traits we have as a species is our ability to communicate in a number of ways without knowing a lick of the language the other person speaks. You'd be surprised at how easily one can convey "someone get me chocolate this instant or I'll pop a cap" universally with their eyes.
7. Get your heart broken
And don't blame yourself when it happens. Learn from it and don't be afraid to do it again. (But try not to make the same mistake twice—there so many mistakes out there just waiting to be made)
8. Most decisions that end in "yolo" might not be the best and you'll probably learn that the hard way.
Many choices I made in my senior year in college ended with the unsure yet completely solid "...yolo, am I right?" This was always made after a decision where I knew if my parents found out they'd be sitting there with a dafuck? look on their face.
eg. Great Influential Friend: "Hey, Claire, I know it's 2 am on a Tuesday and you have that big final in your Senior Thesis class tomorrow that you haven't prepared for or studied for but want to go drunk bowling?"
me: "Well, that would be irresponsible. But.... yolo, am I right??"
GIF: "Claire, tequila is the right choice. Always."
me: "Well, my past decisions made while under the influence of tequila say otherwise but.. yolo, am I right??"
GIF: "Claire, I know we have big exams tomorrow and we HAVE to study but it happens to be Saint Patrick's Day today. We must drink in the library."
me: "You are brilliant."
The YOLO came after I spilled a beer in the computer room and made it out alive and unnoticed.
9. Be okay with being alone.
After graduating from college or at some point in your life, you may find yourself alone for much longer periods of time than what you are used to. For me, this realization came after college when I didn't find myself asleep with my best friend literally every night or when we weren't finishing the bottle of wine on the balcony of 865 every night once a week. So naturally, the transition from being surrounded by my best friends 24/7 to them being a whole ocean and many time zones away was hard for me. But being alone for an extended amount of time helped me realize that they would be there for me whether I was snuggling up with them in bed or miles away in another continent. The only way you know is if you choose to be alone.
10. Know that you know very little
And be thankful for the opportunity to learn something new. Nothing is worse than asking, with confidence, how long your hostel mate's flight from North Korea was. With luck, they will speak absolutely no English and will not notice you turn bright red once you realized the mistake you make and how stupid you sounded.
11. Question everything.
If you found yourself nodding along to this post, question why you agreed with a 22 year old who has yet to check her college final grades or receive her diploma.
